Watching that ridiculous poodle has proven fruitful. He often tries to copy some of the skills that I have developed over many years, unfortunately for him; he just does not have the shrewdness or the sense to complete any task to a satisfactory level.
Earlier today the adult humans put a fence up in the back garden. This runs along the hedge, obviously I had a sense of discomfort over this as it splits my territory in two. However, they deemed this a necessary measure as the “poodle” kept escaping (actually he was copying me, as he has observed me going through the hedge on numerous occasions).
Unlike me (who stalks and attacks intruders into my territory, using wit and proven battle tactics) the poodle escapes into other peoples gardens and runs around as though he is looking for his own brain (obviously he is unable to find this as it is so small!)
If during his running expeditions he encounters a stranger be it animal or human he does one of two things:
1. Cowers in the nearest corner, shaking uncontrollably from fear.
2. Barking uncontrollably in fear whilst trying to get back through the hedge.
The later of these two outcomes is always the more amusing, as he does not appear to be able to do two tasks at once. When he is concentrating on his barking, he is completely unable to get back through the hedge, thus meaning one of the two adults we live with having to fetch him. Ridiculous!
Now this new fence, the poodle was looking at it not long ago and trying to work out whether or not he could still get into the neighbours garden. He had a little dig at the base of the fence to no avail and then to my absolute enjoyment tried to pull it over by pawing at it! I thought that this was the appropriate time to stroll past him calm and joyful in the knowledge that I was about to upset him. The poodle turned to look at me; I looked back and at the same time leaped up and over the fence. Oh the joy!
Although, the above information may seem superfluous to you, it is of utmost importance in my plan to rid our family of “the poodle”. The research I have done shows:
• He copies me and likes to follow me where possible
• He runs around as though looking for his own brain
• The poodle is only capable of one task at a time
• And the poodle is unable to get past a solid fence
I shall continue watching this poodle and noting all of my finds down. This will help me plan how to remove him from our family completely.
Earlier today the adult humans put a fence up in the back garden. This runs along the hedge, obviously I had a sense of discomfort over this as it splits my territory in two. However, they deemed this a necessary measure as the “poodle” kept escaping (actually he was copying me, as he has observed me going through the hedge on numerous occasions).
Unlike me (who stalks and attacks intruders into my territory, using wit and proven battle tactics) the poodle escapes into other peoples gardens and runs around as though he is looking for his own brain (obviously he is unable to find this as it is so small!)
If during his running expeditions he encounters a stranger be it animal or human he does one of two things:
1. Cowers in the nearest corner, shaking uncontrollably from fear.
2. Barking uncontrollably in fear whilst trying to get back through the hedge.
The later of these two outcomes is always the more amusing, as he does not appear to be able to do two tasks at once. When he is concentrating on his barking, he is completely unable to get back through the hedge, thus meaning one of the two adults we live with having to fetch him. Ridiculous!
Now this new fence, the poodle was looking at it not long ago and trying to work out whether or not he could still get into the neighbours garden. He had a little dig at the base of the fence to no avail and then to my absolute enjoyment tried to pull it over by pawing at it! I thought that this was the appropriate time to stroll past him calm and joyful in the knowledge that I was about to upset him. The poodle turned to look at me; I looked back and at the same time leaped up and over the fence. Oh the joy!
Although, the above information may seem superfluous to you, it is of utmost importance in my plan to rid our family of “the poodle”. The research I have done shows:
• He copies me and likes to follow me where possible
• He runs around as though looking for his own brain
• The poodle is only capable of one task at a time
• And the poodle is unable to get past a solid fence
I shall continue watching this poodle and noting all of my finds down. This will help me plan how to remove him from our family completely.
